What I’ve Learned In One Minute…

Hi Friend,

I've realised that advice is neither good nor bad. It's only relative to the listener's experience at that time.

Going to a wedding this past weekend really helped me appreciate that. I watched this amazing young couple prepare to spend the rest of their lives together. Two people who were clearly best friends, choosing each other in front of everyone they loved. And in that moment, nobody in that room would have said, "You shouldn't be doing this. You're too young. Wait. Find yourself first. Focus on your career."

That advice would have made no sense for them.

But that same advice could be exactly what someone else needs to hear. Maybe there's someone out there rushing into something because they see their whole identity in another person and don't yet know who they are without them. Maybe someone is making a decision out of rebellion without really understanding what they're stepping into. For that person, slow down, wait and find yourself first, is genuinely good advice.

Take another one.

"You should rest and take a day off." That's good advice for the person who has been working harder than they ever have and is visibly running on empty. But it's the wrong thing to say to the person who just looks busy, spinning their wheels without really putting in any effort. It's also equally the wrong thing to say to someone who is in a really good rhythm right now and a break for them could kill all the progress they've made.

Advice is relative. We can only give it through the lens of what we've been through ourselves and what we think we understand about the other person's situation. I'm not saying we shouldn't give it. But I think it's worth taking the time to give it with more context, and with an honest appreciation of where both you and the other person actually are.

Because the same words land completely differently depending on who's receiving them.

TL;DR

Advice isn't good or bad. It's relative. The same words that could change one person's life could be completely wrong for someone else. Context matters, and so does knowing enough about someone's situation before you speak into it.

WITH INTENTION

I do a podcast about learning how to be intentional in everyday life, here's what this week's episode is about:

This week's guest is Stephen Dunster, a pastor and church leader. We get into finding purpose in your youth through a Christian perspective, whether confirmation bias plays a role in belief, and how to navigate life when you're still figuring out what you actually think.

Listen to it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.​

WINS & LESSONS

Win:

I went to a wedding this weekend and I'm more than grateful for it. Wishing nothing but the best for the couple.

Lesson:

If you're ambitious, spend more time around people who are passionate about different things to you. Not necessarily more ambitious, just deeply passionate about what they do. It sparks your creative thinking in ways you don't expect and ends up making you more driven in your own lane.

QUESTION FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

Is there advice you've been holding onto that might actually just be relative to someone else's experience and not your own?

Alright that's it from me.

In a bit,

Motheo